I got a friend named Tucker. Yeah Tucker.
Go on, say it. Tucker.
Sounds good, right? Yeah, say it loud.
"TUCKER!"
Still sounds cool. You can even say it in passing, like 'Oh, then Tucker rolled by...' and it still holds the edge of conversation. Or late night under darkness in a soft and cooin' like fashion.
"Ohhh, Tuck-ER!"
'Course I never heard those sort of recantations unless Tucker himself was doin't the story tellin'. Usually talking about something he'd already done or was soon about to do '...yah, like it's gonna be...' he'd sometimes say.
See, Tucker is a skiin' machine. Really, he can probably, pretty much ski better than you. Put it this way, I'm a good skier. I'll throw against anybody and look the hell out if you're in my wheelhouse. I can hit the high speeds and on occasion can do so with some pretty good style.
And Tucker? Well, Tucker's a better skier than me. It's in him, kinda like Bo Diddly's daddy told his son; 'Boy, it's in you and it's got to get out!'
And get out it does. Almost every day. One hundred and forty-plus of 'em as a matter of fact. And when you hit the mountain that many times in a season you are not going to be gettin' the bluebird pow-pow that those kids out west gloat about. This is East Coast, bro. Or East Coast Brau-Brau as they'd say in that western type of talk they use out there.
See, East Coast is a little different and as such we're able to swell the chest a bit more than they are out there. But it's not a competition, they got theirs and we got ours and they're welcome to sample our flavor any time they choose. 'Come on out!' we're always sayin' but it's a rare day to find a lift-mate who stacked up the flier miles to jump an eastbound plane so's he could shred the tight and windy steeps of Cannon Mountain. I mean, I suppose I can understand because when you come out here it's like jumping into big league skiing with minor league conditions. It's usually colder, always icier and we don't go for that gourmet lunch line with a catered wait-staff, silverware and cloth napkins. Out here it's pack a lunch, toss it under the lodge table and get your runs in. Then crack the cooler and clank a few PBR's against each other in a congratulatory celebration of survival.
It's just a little different, see?
This ain't about East v. West though and we aren't even going to discuss Europe. This is East Coast and it's about our team and which one of our Rallied Rowdies made the grade, hit the list and is now being called to the podium for the medal drapin' ceremony.
It's the MOTV8R Ski Champ of the 2010 Season and we had some action in the polls this year. Action like Good Action. So we'll gaze upon the head-boppin' crowd assembled and after the band breaks, the SWAG is tossed and every body's got their refill we'll kick off a few of the minor awards to set the flow.
Startin' off let's bring the Rookie of the Year to the stage. This Cat came East from West where he'd built a solid rep and learned the ropes. Turned it into a fine season on all fronts; Pre-ski, Ski and Apres-ski. Held his own and even brought a bunny with him. Mr. Greg Stevens get yer ass up here and take a bow.
Hostess with the Mostest- You know her name, you've heard her roar and she gets more done before three am than most folks do before six...whatever that means. She's Grace Chen, she's SnowHo royalty and she's All Good.
Best Retirement and Turned Out To Pasture was a tough dig because there's so many to pick from. You know these kids, the ones who killed it in high school and didn't know the meaning of 'take it easy' Yeah, those guys. Well, they're out suburban bound now, livin' with the lady (and she don't ski), they got the pretty dog and they might have got out once this season. Too busy they say. Doin' what they won't tell. But to keep them hungry for a possible rebound next year I'll keep the lid on the identity...for now. You know who you are, don't let it happen again...
Comeback of the Year goes to Jeff Madzgiasz. Check his action out in the MOTV8R flick 'Gunstocked Sunday' He rips. Nice job.
Best Irish Ripper? Hands DOWN Brenda Hourihan. She jumped the digs in NYC to get closer to the mount and if you haven't seen her shred you missed out.
Best Skier in the US Army. As far as we know it's Justin Nevins and although he's National Guard we're giving it to him anyway. Put in a solid season then shipped out to Afghanistan. There's a vacant stool at the bar till he gets back. See the flag over the window in the corner? Turn, get the back straight and rip a solid salute (raised fist, hang loose wrist flip or a hats off twirl also acceptable).
Best Bunny? This one's not easy 'cause an East Coast Bunny doesn't care about the weather, will head out solo if she feels it and calls her day complete only when the runs are maxed, the apres sold out, the hot tub ripped, dinner rolled, dancin' done, last call made and the after hours won. Like I said, it ain't an East Coast v. West Coast thing 'cause out here we like a little competition, dig? And while the Tele-Markin' Champ currently resides out west and claims East Coast roots a Bunny, by definition, can't be married. Sorry Heather Paul Featherman but this one was earned by Killington's own Miss Nancy McLaughlin. Holla!
And now we'll get down to the business of the Top Slots. The MOTV8R Medals for the 2010 Champ. And throwing the disclaimer out there, it doesn't matter if you ski or snowboard, it's all about the mountain day and it doesn't matter what gets you out there. I'm just not going to continually write 'ski or ride' every time I'm talking about it. Dig? Sure you do.
So the list of eligibles was long and deep but after the December Days went by and the January storms rolled into February rains and March Madness came and went there were those who started strong, held the edge and finished with a Bang! We start early out here and we hang on till the snow is gone. The easy nod? That's the Honorable Mention which is, of course, the lamest of all the awards because it basically says 'Yeah, you were good but not good enough'
Zack Nasty Ducharme get your ass on up here and then get your ass back to your seat. Congratulations, I guess.
Third Place and Bronze Medal Man? That's Mr. Billy 'BG' Sincavage. Hit it hard, hit it early and kept hittin' it long after the lifts had stopped. He ripped the whole season, summitted Mt. Washington and then flew across the pond (and no, I'm not talking about the A. Ocean, I'm talking about the Killington Pond for Season's End Pond Skimmin') Nice work, take a bow and go on backstage, there's some sumpthin' sumpthin' waitin' on ya.
Second Place and Silver Medal? Tough call and to the wire. Not decided on by days alone because how can you measure heart? This cat ripped East, went West (twice) and showed 'em what it was like and then came back, led the Tuckerman Trip (17 Freaks), got to the summit, shredded it down and turned around to take the Pond Skimmin' Title! Mr. Shane P. Grady unlock those lips from your lady-friend and bow your head for the Champagne Dunk. Nicely done and well earned.
Gold Medal Champion and Overall Winner...The hush settles and the crowd murmurs the obvious for if it wasn't Shane then it could have only been one other. So answer the bell Mr. Tucker A. Lange and clunk on up to center stage to bask in the glory. It was a close shave but the early season hikes, the rainy day refusals, the daily grindage, the Wildcat Sub-Zero, The 140+ days of foot 'n boot skiin' and the one that tipped it, the one piece that edged the Man was a late season cruise to Canada. He hit it all, did it well and earned turns even after the lifts shut down by donnin' the skins and rockin' uphill under his own steam.
Anything to say, Mr. Tuck? What's that? Seems to be a bit speechless but trust your MC this dude ain't afraid to run his mouth when the duty calls. Jimmy, let's go to the tape and listen in as Tucker runs a Chairlift Lesson on the varied styles and forms of a cascading cast of East Coast flingers workin' down the mount. Tucker was there to offer his opinion on the style...
"...Arms to far back, this guy's legs aren't bent, eyes out front!, No style at all, this chick is all over the place, too stiff, no balance, this guy?...this guy's actually doing okay, she's leanin' too far back, she's a mess, arms way too wide, draggin' hands, too stiff, what the hell is he doing? Bend your knees, eyes up front, look out! No form at all, she shouldn't even be on the mountain, too squirmy, hands waaay to far back, look at him, no form at all..."
So there it is. Controversial? Sure, Shane coulda grabbed the title and who says a Bunny can't be married? But that's how it is out here, we don't do things to make you feel all warm and sweet inside, we don't ride the fence, we just call it as we see 'em.
And that's how we saw 'em this year.
